Tagged: Matt Linstorm

Fun With Player Names Part 2: 2010 Edition

The last time I posted my 2008 MLB Player Name poem (I guess?) entitled, “A Rough MLB Morning,” I got some positive reaction.  People actually like this, I thought?  So, I decided to do another one for 2010.  Enjoy!


“The Price of a MLB Friendship”

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Abreu copy.jpg

I awoke out of my Sheets
with a clean Billingsley of
health.  The Kershaw pain of my Kochman
felt infinitely better!  It was a bad Lindstorm of Ichiro, Raburn, Jurrjens and some mild
Coghlan that you don’t even want to know about.  Don’t worry, with the help of Dr. Oswalt I kicked the painful Kochman before it spread to my Boobie Abreu.    

 

It was on this good O’Day
that I walked to the Church on top
of the Hill to sniff the DeRosa’s.  There was an absolute Milledge of De La Rosas – although I picked out
one Lilly.  Before entering the Teagarden I usually treat myself Bailey to two Lindor Borbons.  Me, and my French friend Pierre, were Jonesing
for those Lindor’s. 

 

They call Pierre‘s Butler, Figgins, he usually makes some
excellent Marmols, but Pierre was a Bastardo about sharing them with me.  I told him to “Fukudome, I’ll Daisuke
my own Marmols.  Maybe I’ll even make myself some Pie, or get some Freeses or something?”  Pierre felt
bad about the argument for he had had a Harden
upbringing with good Morales.  Noticable upset, he told me that there was no
need for that Fowler language.  Weeks
went by and I didn’t hear Moore than a Bartlett from Pierre.  I guess that Happens to be the Price
of friendship.

First Names “The Price of a MLB Friendship”

    

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I awoke out of my (Ben) Sheets
with a clean (Chad) Billingsley of
health.  The (Clayton) Kershaw pain of my (Casey) Kochman
felt infinitely better.  It was a bad (Matt) Lindstorm of Ichiro, (Ryan) Raburn, (Jair) Jurrjens and some mild (Chris) Coghlan that you don’t even want to know about.  Don’t worry, with the help of Dr. (Roy) Oswalt I kicked the painful (Casey) Kochman before it spread to my Boobie Abreu.    

 

It was on this good (Darren) O’Day
that I walked to the (Ryan) Church on top
of the (Aaron) Hill to sniff the (Mark) DeRosa’s.  There was an absolute (Lastings) Milledge of (Jorge) De La Rosa‘s – although I picked out
one (Ted) Lilly.  Before entering the (Taylor) Teagarden I usually treat myself (Andrew/Homer) Bailey to two (Adam) Lindor (Julio) Borbons.  Me, and my French friend (Juan) Pierre, were (Chipper, Adams etc.) Jonesing
for those (Adam) Lindors. 

 

They call (Juan) Pierre‘s (Billy) Butler, (Chone) Figgins, he usually makes some
excellent (Carlos) Marmols, but (Juan) Pierre was a (Antonio) Bastardo about sharing them with me.  I told him to “(Kosuke) Fukudome, I’ll Daisuke
(Matsuzaka) my own (Carlos) Marmols.  Maybe I’ll even make myself some (Felix) Pie, or get some (David) Freese‘s or something?”  (Juan) Pierre felt
bad about the argument – for he had had a (Rich) Harden
upbringing with good (Kendry) Morales.  Noticably upset, he told me that there was no
need for that (Dexter) Fowler language.  (Rickie) Weeks
went by and I didn’t hear any (Adam) Moore than a (Jason) Bartlett from (Juan) Pierre.  I guess that (J.A.) Happens to be the (David) Price
of friendship.


     

A Rough MLB Morning”


April 2008

Carmona copy.jpgI started my Halladay by heading straight to the Escobar to get a Carmona.  The Kapler was not a twist HoffmanEthier I use my teeth, or the Leiter in my back pocket.

One Carmona, two Carmona, three CarmonaYoukilus, Youkilus!  I Doumit on the floor.  No Mora!  No Mora!   Soon, I was Gagne all night.  I woke up on Huston, Street in Rios de janernos.  Hunter Byrds were circling my body.  Ahh, Inge!!!  How did I get that Saltalamacchia’d off only four Carmonas?  What a Putz, I am! four. 

First Names “A Rough MLB Morning”

I started my (Roy) Halladay by heading straight to the (Yunel) Escobar to get a (Fausto) Carmona.  The (Gabe) Kapler was not a twist (Trevor) Hoffman. (Andre) Ethier I use my teeth, or the (Al) Leiter in my back pocket.

One (Fausto) Carmona, two (Fausto) Carmona, three (Fausto) Carmona four.  (Kevin) Youkilus, (Kevin) Youkilus!  I (Ryan) Doumit on the floor.  No (Melvin) Mora!  No (Melvin) Mora!   Soon, I was (Eric) Gagne all night.  I woke up on Huston, Street in (Alexis) Rios de janernos.  (Torii) Hunter (Marlon/Paul) Byrds were circling my body.  Ahh, (Brandon) Inge!!!  How did I get that (Jarrod) Saltalamacchia’d off only four (Fausto) Carmonas?  What a (J.J.) Putz, I am!

     

 

 

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