Fun With Player Names Part 2: 2010 Edition

The last time I posted my 2008 MLB Player Name poem (I guess?) entitled, “A Rough MLB Morning,” I got some positive reaction.  People actually like this, I thought?  So, I decided to do another one for 2010.  Enjoy!


“The Price of a MLB Friendship”

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Abreu copy.jpg

I awoke out of my Sheets
with a clean Billingsley of
health.  The Kershaw pain of my Kochman
felt infinitely better!  It was a bad Lindstorm of Ichiro, Raburn, Jurrjens and some mild
Coghlan that you don’t even want to know about.  Don’t worry, with the help of Dr. Oswalt I kicked the painful Kochman before it spread to my Boobie Abreu.    

 

It was on this good O’Day
that I walked to the Church on top
of the Hill to sniff the DeRosa’s.  There was an absolute Milledge of De La Rosas – although I picked out
one Lilly.  Before entering the Teagarden I usually treat myself Bailey to two Lindor Borbons.  Me, and my French friend Pierre, were Jonesing
for those Lindor’s. 

 

They call Pierre‘s Butler, Figgins, he usually makes some
excellent Marmols, but Pierre was a Bastardo about sharing them with me.  I told him to “Fukudome, I’ll Daisuke
my own Marmols.  Maybe I’ll even make myself some Pie, or get some Freeses or something?”  Pierre felt
bad about the argument for he had had a Harden
upbringing with good Morales.  Noticable upset, he told me that there was no
need for that Fowler language.  Weeks
went by and I didn’t hear Moore than a Bartlett from Pierre.  I guess that Happens to be the Price
of friendship.

First Names “The Price of a MLB Friendship”

    

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I awoke out of my (Ben) Sheets
with a clean (Chad) Billingsley of
health.  The (Clayton) Kershaw pain of my (Casey) Kochman
felt infinitely better.  It was a bad (Matt) Lindstorm of Ichiro, (Ryan) Raburn, (Jair) Jurrjens and some mild (Chris) Coghlan that you don’t even want to know about.  Don’t worry, with the help of Dr. (Roy) Oswalt I kicked the painful (Casey) Kochman before it spread to my Boobie Abreu.    

 

It was on this good (Darren) O’Day
that I walked to the (Ryan) Church on top
of the (Aaron) Hill to sniff the (Mark) DeRosa’s.  There was an absolute (Lastings) Milledge of (Jorge) De La Rosa‘s – although I picked out
one (Ted) Lilly.  Before entering the (Taylor) Teagarden I usually treat myself (Andrew/Homer) Bailey to two (Adam) Lindor (Julio) Borbons.  Me, and my French friend (Juan) Pierre, were (Chipper, Adams etc.) Jonesing
for those (Adam) Lindors. 

 

They call (Juan) Pierre‘s (Billy) Butler, (Chone) Figgins, he usually makes some
excellent (Carlos) Marmols, but (Juan) Pierre was a (Antonio) Bastardo about sharing them with me.  I told him to “(Kosuke) Fukudome, I’ll Daisuke
(Matsuzaka) my own (Carlos) Marmols.  Maybe I’ll even make myself some (Felix) Pie, or get some (David) Freese‘s or something?”  (Juan) Pierre felt
bad about the argument – for he had had a (Rich) Harden
upbringing with good (Kendry) Morales.  Noticably upset, he told me that there was no
need for that (Dexter) Fowler language.  (Rickie) Weeks
went by and I didn’t hear any (Adam) Moore than a (Jason) Bartlett from (Juan) Pierre.  I guess that (J.A.) Happens to be the (David) Price
of friendship.


     

A Rough MLB Morning”


April 2008

Carmona copy.jpgI started my Halladay by heading straight to the Escobar to get a Carmona.  The Kapler was not a twist HoffmanEthier I use my teeth, or the Leiter in my back pocket.

One Carmona, two Carmona, three CarmonaYoukilus, Youkilus!  I Doumit on the floor.  No Mora!  No Mora!   Soon, I was Gagne all night.  I woke up on Huston, Street in Rios de janernos.  Hunter Byrds were circling my body.  Ahh, Inge!!!  How did I get that Saltalamacchia’d off only four Carmonas?  What a Putz, I am! four. 

First Names “A Rough MLB Morning”

I started my (Roy) Halladay by heading straight to the (Yunel) Escobar to get a (Fausto) Carmona.  The (Gabe) Kapler was not a twist (Trevor) Hoffman. (Andre) Ethier I use my teeth, or the (Al) Leiter in my back pocket.

One (Fausto) Carmona, two (Fausto) Carmona, three (Fausto) Carmona four.  (Kevin) Youkilus, (Kevin) Youkilus!  I (Ryan) Doumit on the floor.  No (Melvin) Mora!  No (Melvin) Mora!   Soon, I was (Eric) Gagne all night.  I woke up on Huston, Street in (Alexis) Rios de janernos.  (Torii) Hunter (Marlon/Paul) Byrds were circling my body.  Ahh, (Brandon) Inge!!!  How did I get that (Jarrod) Saltalamacchia’d off only four (Fausto) Carmonas?  What a (J.J.) Putz, I am!

     

 

 

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9 comments

  1. greg1969

    Hey, Jeremy! I noticed you swung by Brownie Points the other day! Welcome–stop by any time, esp. if the Sox and Jays are playing!
    Were you wearing your Halladay jersey when he got his 150th career win? Congrats to Halladay, and also for his 50th CG! (Talk about a machine–when one-third of your wins are CGs!) Take care, Jeremy!

  2. diamondgirl55

    Now Jeremy…how much time do you have in your hands to come up with something this amazing? Haha. I love it! Plus, you mentioned 2 Mariners, hollaaaaaa. I woke up at 5am for work and you totally made it worth it…it’s better than a huge cup of java. xoxo http://diamondgirl55.mlblogs.com

  3. welikeroywelikeroy

    Jane,
    I’m glad that you liked Boobie Abreu. He does have abnormally large pectoral muscles.
    Jeff,
    lol. I know the feeling. It is rough getting Saltalamacchia’d and not knowing it.
    Raysfan, Peter
    Awesome you guys got a laugh. It is more ‘funny weird’ than ‘funny ha ha,’ I’d say.
    Greg,
    I didn’t know it was his 50th CG too! I wasn’t wearing my Halladay jersey. I wore that literally all winter under my jacket. Eveytime I watch a Halladay start, I just laugh. It looks like he is just going to ravage the N.L. East … AS I PREDICTED!
    diamondgirl!,
    Sweet that you got up early inbetween your busy day to stop by here. You are right, I have lots of time on my hands. Playing fantasy baseball, these player names in the back of my head often. So, believe it or not, it didn’t actually take that much time. Stop by again diamondgirl, your ‘huge cup of Java’ will be waiting for you.

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